“Julius Caesar was once kidnapped by the Cilician Pirates. They declared a ransom for him, and his response was to claim that he was worth much more than the offered price. He alsp promised to crucify them once he escaped. Eventually his friends paid the ransom. Caesar returned to fight the pirates with backup, took the (extra large) ransom back from the pirates to keep for himself, and had them crucified.”

Sir Robert Muldoon, Prime Minister of New Zealand in 1984 calls for an election whilst drunk live on television.

“The infamous career of the WWII destroyer USS William D. Porter, aka the stupidest ship ever launched. The crew wrecked a friendly ship, almost killed the President (twice) and finally fired a shell at the base commander's house.”

“When greek philosopher Aeschylus got killed by a turtle that was dropped by eagle, right on his head.”

“Operation Tiger was pretty embarrassing for the USA. They was training for D-Day on our Beaches, here in Britain and they killed as many as 450 of their own men during training. What happened was Eisenhower decided men need to go through realistic battle conditions so they used live artillery 50 mins before the landing. However, the men in the landing-craft didn’t hear about this and landed an hour before they was supposed to, resulting in many men being bombarded by naval artillery.”

“TIL about the failed assassination attempt on Andrew Jackson. Following a congressional funeral, the assailant attempted to shoot him, however his pistol misfired. He then pulled out a second loaded pistol, it too misfired. Jackson responded by clubbing the man with his walking cane several times.”

“Draco, an Athenian lawmaker, was reportedly smothered to death by gifts of cloaks and hats showered upon him by appreciative citizens at a theatre on Aegina.”

“The Austrian Army attacked itself and lost 10,000 men at the Battle of Karansebes in 1788. The Austrians, at war with the Ottomans sent out scouts to search for Turkish spies. The Austrian hussar scouts instead encountered a band of gypsies who got them drunk. A group of Austrian infantry showed up and wanted to join the party. The drunk hussars were loathe to share and constructed a barricade around the liquor and set up a defense. The infantry pressed their case and a shot was fired. With that, the fight was on and in the confusion the Austrian army mistook hussars fleeing the gypsy camp fight to be charging Turks and opened fire. The melee awakened the rest of the camp who assumed they were being attacked, started shooting at anything that moved and then fled. When the Turks arrived in the next day, they found the Austrian Army had defeated itself already and easily took the city of Karansebes.”

“TIL Former French president Felix Faure died of a seizure in his office while having s— with his mistress. He was the first French president to die of natural causes while holding office.”

“When Hitler, the spoiled brat he was, tried (and failed after nightmarish amounts of temper tantrum-esque massacres) to enact world [power] because his favorite art school didnt think he was Vienna Material.”

“Columbus' first 4 voyages to the Americas. Until his death he never admitted that he had found a new continent.”

“The Great Emu War … Australia deployed soldiers armed with machine guns to fight against a horde of 20,000 Emus that were terrorizing the countryside; it was largely unsuccessful.”

“During the Napoleonic Wars the people of Hartlepool England hung a pet monkey thinking it was a French spy.”

“After watching the ‘Kung Fu Kapers’ episode of The Goodies, Alex Mitchell laughed continuously for 25 minutes and then fell dead on his sofa from heart failure.

“I quite like the War of the Bucket, 2000 soldiers died over a stolen bucket, lost with a 4,5:1 advantage and the enemy stole another bucket.”

“Ronald Wayne, the little-known third founder of a some fruit company called Apple, sold his 10% stake back to his co-founders for only $800. Today, a 10% stake in Apple would be worth more than $90 billion.”

Clement Vallandigham, a lawyer and Ohio politician defending a man accused of murder, accidentally shot himself while demonstrating how the victim might have accidentally shot himself. His client was cleared.